'My house isn't company property': Employee excludes competitive coworker from their private game night, coworker files a complaint about it to HR, leading to an office dispute

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 23, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

Some people play games to have fun, and some people play games to win, and neither group actually enjoys playing with the other. If you have ever played any sort of game with your friends, then you can probably pinpoint which of your friends belongs to which group, which might make you want to tweak your invitation list for the next gaming night you have planned.

This was basically what happened in this Reddit story when OP (original poster) decided to uninvite their coworker from their private game nights. All because this coworker was incredibly competitive, and simply made everyone else there extremely uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the coworker found out that he was excluded from a game night, and decided to report OP to HR, claiming it was affecting his morale and workplace relationships. This left OP in quite an awkward situation, having to provide HR with an explanation about something that has nothing to do with work…

Scroll down to read the full story. Then, click here for a story of an employee who got away with doing nothing at work for over 3 months.

Advertisement
  • 01
    "My private life is none of HR business" THE ISLI M10
    via Suzy Hazelwood
  • 02
    AITAH for not inviting my coworker to our weekly game night (even HR is involved now)
    via firakti
  • 03
    So, I've been hosting a weekly board game night with some friends and coworkers for a while now. It started out super chill- just a fun way to blow off some. steam after work. Snacks, drinks,
    via firakti
  • 04
    and a lot of laughter around the table. Pretty soon, it became this thing everyone looked forward to. A few months ago, my coworker Jake caught wind of our little
    via firakti
  • 05
    tradition and asked if he could join. At the time, he seemed cool, and since we were looking to mix things up a bit with new faces, I figured, "Why not?" Big mistake.
    via firakti
  • 06
    At first, it wasn't too bad, but after the first couple of game nights, things got... intense. Jake turned out to be way more competitive than any of us. He takes every game super seriously, constantly "correcting" people on
    via firakti
  • 07
    rules, or telling us how we could be playing more efficiently. What used to be fun and laid-back turned into this high-pressure thing where no one felt comfortable making a move without him jumping in with his "expert" advice.
    via firakti
  • 08
    In team-based games, he basically tries to act like the captain, telling everyone what to do and criticizing decisions. I've seen people get visibly uncomfortable or frustrated when
    via firakti
  • 09
    he goes on these long rants about why we lost or how someone messed up. It's exhausting. When he wins, he gloats for way too long, and when he loses, he'll
    via firakti
  • 10
    sulk and mutter stuff like, "That wasn't fair," or "This game is so imbalanced." Like, dude—it's just for fun. But it's clear he doesn't see it that way. He's k ed the
    via firakti
  • 11
    vibe so many times that a few of my regulars have asked me privately if Jake would be there before deciding if they wanted to come. And honestly, I can't blame them.
    via firakti
  • 12
    So, last week, I didn't invite Jake. I kept it to our core group, and everyone had a blast. It was like old times no tension, just a good time. But of course, word got back to Jake (because apparently one of my coworkers
    via firakti
  • 13
    can't keep their mouth shut), and now he's been giving me the cold shoulder at work. He even confronted me about it, asking why he wasn't invited, and I tried to downplay it, saying we kept it small that night.
    via firakti
  • 14
    Then, things took a weird turn. I got an email from HR the other day. Apparently, Jake filed a complaint saying he feels "excluded" from activities that involve coworkers, and now HR wants to have a meeting to talk
    via firakti
  • 15
    about it. I was completely caught off guard. I mean, it's a private game night at my house-how is this an HR issue?! To make matters worse, Jake even talked to our boss, saying it's
    via firakti
  • 16
    affecting his morale and workplace relationships. Now my boss and HR want to have this big "team-building conversation" about it later this week. I'm seriously stressed about how much this has spiraled. It's just a game night!
    via firakti
  • 17
    Now I'm wondering if I handled this wrong. Should I have talked to Jake about how his behavior was making things less fun? Or am I justified in wanting to keep things low-key and enjoyable for the rest of the group?
    via firakti
  • 18
    All this nonsense now begs the questions: AITAH for not inviting him to game night anymore? And how do I even handle this HR mess?
    via firakti
  • 19
    TheSweetestSinW 1d ago You can do whatever you want with whoever you want. Your private life is none of HR business, and you should let them know if it comes to that.
    via TheSweetestSinW
  • 20
    • SpunkyElysia ⚫ 1d ago • u're NTA. It looks like Jake might be misinterpreting the game night as a work function, which is why he's involving HR and u have every right to host a private gathering w/o feeling obligated to invite everyone.
    via SpunkyElysia
  • 21
    • IOGIReaper 1d ago • Private life, not a work sponsored activity, and deflect the "morale" claim by giving examples of his behavior, PS find out who can't keep their mouth shut and X em out of the group NTA
    via IOGIReaper
  • 22
    JustMMlurking MM •1d ago • NTA. Tell your boss and HR that this is not a work event, it's your friends in your own home. There is no discussion to be had. If they want to do "team building" at work they can do it on the clock and pay you all for it. Your house isn't company property.
    via JustMMlurkingMM
  • 23
    Goats_2022 1d ago. Remind HR that you are not paid for activities out of office hours.
    via Goats_2022
  • 24
    bananamarcia • 1d ago • NTA. Wow, Jake turned board game night into the Olympics and now HR is acting like it's the Hunger Games! Maybe next week's theme should be 'team- building charades'-silent edition
    via bananamarcia

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

terrible coworkers games boss aita workplace-stories employee hr manager gaming coworkers reddit story workplace entitled competitive Reddit
Scroll Down For The Next Article